Strings

How does one define “random?”

The Encarta Dictionary for North American English states the following conditions:

1.       Done, chosen, or occurring without an identifiable pattern, plan, system, or connection.

2.       Statistics relating or belonging to a set in which all the members have the same probability of occurrence.

In a world where the actions of people play off of one another in a cascade of élan vital, the “randomness” that we are witnessing lies only within the realm of cause and effect – not the strings themselves that bind cause and effect together – played upon by the unconscious hands of seven billion cellists.

 

Harper Clarkson muttered to himself in irritation as he walked the four blocks to the nearest gas station.  He was freezing his ass off.

He swore the first thing he did when he got home would be to yank his eighteen-year-old son out of bed and put the fear of God into him.  He told him a million times not to leave the tank on empty.  This time he would lose all rights to drive the car for at least a month, without exception.  Maybe that would finally beat the lesson into Joshua’s thick skull.

Harp sighed, but half smiled to himself.  It was so like Josh to have his head in the clouds, and most of the time, he forgave him for it.  Hell, he could have ended up with a worse kid – like the one who shot up that school in Michigan just a month or two ago.  Still, he had to learn that his actions carried consequences.  It was the job of any father to teach that to their kids, so Harp believed.

Shoving his hands deeper into his pockets, he rounded the corner to the station and approached the convenience store.  He shivered as he opened the door to walk inside, the electronic tones signaling his entrance.  Nodding to the clerk who was preoccupied with a disheveled homeless gentleman, he searched around for a portable gasoline container.  He didn’t see them right away, so he approached the counter to ask the attendant.

Unfortunately, the attendant seemed to have his hands full.  The disenfranchised individual was flailing his arms, ranting on and on about a piece of paper he found lying on the ground outside.  He thrust it into the attendant’s face.  The paper was crumpled and blank, but that did not apparently alleviate the gentleman’s excitement over the object.

“Don’t you see?!  With this, you could be rich!  We could ALL be rich!”

The clerk sighed, apparently trying desperately to ignore him.  Maybe he thought if he did so, he would simply go away and he wouldn’t have to call the cops, Harp mused.  He imagined there was a ton of paperwork involved whenever the need to call the police arose – incident reports and whatnot, which protected him from liability.  Then, Harp saw him finally turn his attention.

“Yes sir, did you need help with something?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for a gas canister.  I left my car about four blocks from here, and I’m out.”

“Oh sure, not a problem.  I keep them in the back.  Give me one second and I’ll grab one for you.”

In the back?  What if it was an emergency and the store was closed at the time?  Oh well.  Maybe they were open 24 hours a day, Harp mused.  He had never been to that station past ten o’clock before.

“We could all be rich!  Richer than Richy Rich!  I’m not lying!  All you have to do is take this, and tape it to the door handle!”  He pointed wildly to the small, unisex bathroom door.

The attendant scowled at him as he moved toward the back room to retrieve the canister.  “Sir.  If you don’t get out of here, I’ll have to call the cops.”  With that, he disappeared in the back.  Harp hoped he wouldn’t be gone for long.  He wasn’t comfortable being left alone with that person.

“You!  You believe me, don’t you?!”

“Hmm?  Oh yeah, sure.”  Lovely.  Okay, keep it brief and distant, he told himself.

The man looked him up and down.  “Are you able to see it too?  Do you have a rock?”

Harp was becoming increasingly nervous.  He wished that attendant would hurry up.  Seriously, how long could it possibly take to retrieve a stupid gas container?

The gentleman squinted his eyes.  “No.  No, you don’t it yet, do you.  Would you like one?”

“Um…no thank you.”  Great.  Now he’s offering me drugs.

The clerk came out from the back room.  “Here we go.  Sorry about that.  Hey, I thought I told you to leave.  I’m not kidding you know.  Get out now, or I’ll have the cops here.  I don’t want you harassing my customers.”

Harp was incredibly thankful, yet he felt sorry for the poor wretch, despite himself.  Clearly there was something wrong with him.  Maybe he wasn’t on drugs.  It could have been a condition.  Whatever his apparent issues were, it was a shame he couldn’t get him the help he needed.  If he wasn’t broke himself, he would have given the guy a couple of bucks at least, even if it meant risking further engagement.

The man was close to tears after that.  “None of you ever listen to me!  Ever!  I’m only trying to help you, but you all just think I’m nuts.  Every fucking time!”

With that, he stormed out of the store.  The clerk cleared his throat.  “I’m really very sorry about that.  This neighborhood,” he sighed.  “I swear, it’s getting worse all the time.  I keep getting more and more people like that hanging around here.  It’s a real problem.”

“It’s okay,” Harp nodded in understanding.  “Times are tough.  It can’t be helped.”

“Anyway, you want me to fill this for you, or you got it yourself?  It’s $53.98 for the container after you fill it up to the top line.”

“I can fill it myself, thanks.  I’ll take it to the top.”

Harp fished his back pocket for his wallet and dug out his credit card, which was the only form of currency it contained at the moment.

“Yeah, times are tough alright,” the clerk continued as he took the card from his hand and swiped it.  “I don’t know what this world’s coming to.  We just had that kid down in Michigan...what was his name?  Dan Ro-something?  Shot up that whole school.  I tell ya, people are going nuts.  Hell, just the other day I had a guy out by the pumps who punched a lady in the face, knocking her down.  Then he just ran off.  Can you believe it?  No reason for it.  None at all.”

“Are you serious?  When was this?”

“It was literally just two days ago, in broad daylight.  I was working the noon shift and was here when it happened.  Had to call the cops.  Luckily, the woman was more confused than she was hurt.  She was bruised up a little, but not too badly.  Still, it makes no damn sense.  She even had her kid sitting in the backseat at the time.  Slept through it all.”

“Jesus,” Harp exclaimed in disbelief.

Handing his card back to him, the clerk continued.  “Yeah.  The world’s turning into a real nuthouse I tell you.  Heh.  I wish that bum was right and I could tape a piece of paper the bathroom door and become a billionaire.”

“Oh yeah?  What would you do with all that money?”

The clerk thought for a moment.  “Hmm.  You know what?  I’m thinking I could do some real good with it, you know?  There’s a recession going on, and a lot of people are hurting.  Hell, that’s probably why so many are going nuts.  I don’t know, maybe I could help some folks out with it or something.  Anything would be better than standing behind a counter selling lottery tickets and cigarettes.”

Harp smiled.  “It’s nice to meet someone who feels that way.  I was expecting you to say you would buy a mansion or something.”

“You know, it’s funny.  A few years ago, I would have.  But after working here for so long and seeing so many miserable people come in…well…it gets you thinking, ya know?”

Harp smiled again.  “Well I’ll tell you what.  If you ever do make it big, keep me in mind, will you?  My eighteen-year-old is eating me out of house and home, and I could use a few bucks,” he chuckled.  He reached for the attendants hand to shake and stated “I’m Harper Clarkson – ‘Harp’ to my friends.  Don’t forget that when you make your billions,” he grinned.

“Roger Ford,” the clerk grinned back, shaking his hand amiably.  “In the meantime, stay safe out there on the way back to your car.  I’d offer you a ride, but I can’t leave the store.  Do you have someone who can pick you up?”

“Nah, but that’s okay.  I don’t mind the walk, and I don’t expect to get mugged for a can of gas.”

“You’d be surprised, Harp.  Anyway, take care of yourself.  Don’t be a stranger.”

He waved goodbye to Roger as he walked out the station door.  It was already starting to get dark out, and he wanted to hurry back down the four blocks to his car before it became difficult to see.  He filled up the canister and sealed it when the pump shut off.

It was snowing this time of year in Vermont, and the flakes were just beginning to fall.  The roads were well cleared on the way up, but Harp knew they wouldn’t stay that way for long now.  He started grumbling to himself about Joshua again, wondering why the kid had been so bloody absent minded lately.  It seriously felt like he was on another planet sometimes.

About ten minutes into his trek, he heard a commotion that was becoming louder as he neared the intersection.  Horns were beeping frantically, and then he saw an emergency vehicle rush past.

Good thing I’m not driving right now, he thought to himself.

As he got closer to the traffic lights, he saw a whole line of cars on the other side.  An ambulance, a fire truck, and two police cruisers had blocked off the entire section on that end.  He wondered if someone had been hurt.  Maybe a car lost control on an icy patch.

His car was on the side of the road just a block further, past the line of cars on that same street.  Checking carefully from side to side, he crossed the intersection towards the ensuing chaos.  Fortunately, that road had a sidewalk, so he wasn’t too concerned that an impatient driver would run him down.  As he made his way across however, a police officer flagged him down.

Raising a questioning eyebrow, he walked over to the cop.

“Um…sorry, did you want me?”

“Where are you coming from, sir?”

“The gas station just up that way.  Why?”

The officer scratched his head, looking him up and down.  “Are you…Harper Clarkson by any chance?”

A feeling of dread overpowered Harp.  Was his son hurt?  No, that didn’t make sense.  Why would he be out here?

“Y-yes, I am.  What’s this all about?”

“Well…it’s a bit strange, to be honest.  There’s been an accident over here involving an older gentleman.  We were unable to find any identification on him, but we were hoping you would be able to ID him.”

Wait, older gentleman?  Harp was somewhat relieved, but still bewildered.  “Me?  Why me?”

“Like I said, it’s strange.  We assumed he’s related to you somehow because of the note.  We found it in his jacket pocket, and it’s apparently addressed to you.  We were hoping you could make sense of it.  In the meantime though, would you be willing to make the ID for us?”

Harp was feeling incredibly anxious.  While it may not have been his son who was involved, one way or another he apparently knew the person whom was now concealed in a black leather bag just up ahead.  Another officer was unzipping it when they arrived.  Harp looked down and his trepidation abated slightly, but he was more confused now than ever.

“That…that’s the homeless man who was at the gas station.”

“So you have seen him before?”

“Yes…only less than an hour ago in fact.  I don’t know who he is.  He was harassing the gas attendant when I got there.”

“So wait.  You’re claiming that you’ve never met him before today?”  The officer was incredulous.

“That’s what I’m claiming, yes.  It’s the truth.  Why, what’s going on?  What happened?”

“Well apparently the gentleman decided to run out into the middle of traffic.  The driver who hit him said he was just standing there, almost waiting to be run over.  Other witnesses say they saw the same thing.  The driver couldn’t stop in time because of the slick road, and skidded into him.  By the time we arrived, it was already too late.  We searched him for any sort of ID, but all we found was this note…addressed to you.”

The officer handed it to Harp.  “Can you please explain this note, Mr. Clarkson?”

Harp looked at it, curiously.  The handwriting was badly scrawled, and he could barely make sense of it – even less so, once he actually read it.

 

If anyone finds this, please make sure it goes to Harper Clarkson.  He should be walking down this way from the gas station at about 5:20 PM.  He will be wearing a light blue winter coat, brown pants, and black shoes.

Hi Harp!  I’m pretty sure that’s you now.  I saw you before but didn’t recognize you in the station.

The rock makes you crazy when you use it for a very long time.  Makes other people think you’re crazy, too.  Be careful.  It’s worth it though.  You can fix things with it.  It won’t look like you’re fixing things, but you are.  Just don’t go too crazy before you do.  I was getting crazy, so I had to finish it.  You can have it now.  It says it’s your turn anyway.

Be careful with it!  It’s a big job!  BIG job!  Too big…

Anyway.  Time to go!

 

Harp turned the note over and over again in his hand.  Then, he looked up at the police officer.  “I…I’m sorry.  I wish I could explain this, but…I really can’t.  Honest to God, I never met this guy until just a short while ago.  I don’t even know how he could have gotten my name.”

“I see.  Did you leave anything behind he might have picked up?”

“Not at all.  In fact he left before I did.  That’s why you saw me coming just now.  I wonder if maybe he heard me tell my name to the gas attendant.”

“So the attendant would be able to vouch your story then?”

“Definitely.  The man was there when I got there, made a bit of a scene, left, and then I was there a bit longer, chatting with the attendant.  Um…what was his name…?  Roger Ford.  That was the clerk.”

“Okay Mr. Clarkson.  It sounds pretty cut and dry.  He must have overheard your conversation.  The fact is, we get stuff like this all the time.  Just to be safe though, do me a favor and give me your contact information, in case we need to ask you anymore questions.  Do you mind?”

“Yeah sure, no problem,” Harp said nervously.  The officer handed him a form, where Harp wrote his name, address, phone number, and a brief description of his encounter.  When he handed it back, the cop looked it over and nodded.

“Okay Mr. Clarkson, thanks again.  Do you need a lift back to your car?”  He indicated to the gas canister Harp had placed on the ground between his legs when he filled out the report.

“No thank you, Officer.  My car is on the side of the road, just past this line of other cars.  Luckily, I’m headed in the opposite direction.”

“Alright then.  Take care of yourself, and sorry for the frayed nerves.  There’s a lot of nut jobs out there these days.  Oh, and I’m going to need that note back for evidence.”

Won’t my finger prints be on it now, he wondered to himself as he handed it back to the cop.  Gotta love small towns.

Even as he began making his way past the cars, they were starting to move again.  They were still being waved through by hand, but it didn’t take long for only a single cruiser to remain.  By the time he reached his own vehicle, even the cruiser had left, and it seemed things were back to normal.

Rubbing his hands briskly for warmth, he opened the fuel hatch on his Buick Regal.  He then opened up the trunk, rummaging around for a funnel.  When he found one, he closed the trunk.

And then he opened it again.

What the heck was that doing in the trunk?

A smooth, round stone was lying next to where the funnel had been.  It was glowing a soft, red color.

What in the world?

Without thinking, he reached out with his hand to palm it.  As soon as he made contact, he jerked back, falling to the wet snow behind him.  His butt was numb from the cold as he was overcome by a series of images.  He began to sneeze profusely, but not from the cold.  It was uncontrollable, and somehow related to the massive headache he was suddenly experiencing.

The stone continued to glow and pulse inside  his mind.

He saw people.  Places.  Events past, present, and possible.

He sneezed.

 

*****

 

Dan Romano sneezed.  He saw what he had to do, and it nearly made him shit himself.  For days he cried until it felt like his eyes were going to bleed.  As far as he could tell though, there just wasn’t any other way.  That was the problem with the damn thing.  It showed you a few choices you could make, but ultimately it rested with the person to make the decision.  And the damnedest thing of all was, he probably wouldn’t even have any memory of it once the deed was done.

It was sick.  Meaning would eventually be ascribed to the action, as if what he did was somehow validated.  But people needed to have meaning now, and there was no way he could ever give it to them.  Any attempt to state reasons – by anyone – would only be seen as tremendously poor in taste at best.

He saw how his life brought him to this point, and it disgusted him.  He understood why he was in the place he was in now.  Every past decision, every memory, every experience – all leading to the formation of the person he was today:

Sick and twisted.

And it couldn’t be any other way.

He saw what the future would bring. 

Without the debate on gun control happing this year, there would be a mugging on January 8^th, 2019, at 7:52 PM.  A woman will have been shot.  Said woman would have otherwise given birth to a college instructor.  The instructor would get married, and have two children – a boy and a girl.  The girl would follow in her father’s footsteps and become a school teacher.  The boy would become an accountant.

In 2041, a new disease will emerge, threatening the entire planet.  In 2039, the school teacher will have made a passing comment to George, the janitor, about how protein affects muscle growth.  That same day, George will order a shipment of one-hundred protein bars to his house, hoping to benefit.  After seeing very little result, he will write a letter of complaint to the company who sold him the merchandise.  The complaint is a common one, with George’s in particular making national attention.  This will eventually lead to shutting down the company that produced the protein bar.  Four years later, another upstart company will take out a loan to start a similar business.  In order to avoid the same mistakes, research will be done to find out where the last version of the supposed muscle builder went wrong.

While researching protein bars, a cure for the disease will accidentally be discovered.  The world is saved.

But then it isn’t.  Because in 2019, a woman is shot.

So many images.  So many events swirled around Dan’s head like a cyclone.  He sneezed again.  This time there was blood in the mucus.

He knew it was time.  He saw each thread.  He knew there was only one he could pull on to keep it all from unraveling.

Picking up his gun, he cried again as he made his way to the school in Michigan.  At some point, the stone must have fallen out of his pocket.  He was thinking much more clearly then.  Not remembering why he was about to do what he was, he felt almost calm.

All he knew was that he had to do it.  His course was set, and he followed it with a crazed serenity.

 

*****

 

The first thing Salty Jake had to do was get the rock to the kid.  It was time to get it passed on again, and he had to hurry if he was going to make it to the scene.  He still had time though.  There was a guy who worked the pumps.  If anyone should benefit, it ought to be him.  In fact…

Jake squinted.  The images hurt his head, but he held onto them.

Yeah.  That was it!  The clerk!

He hurried to the gas station.  He figured he could get there in about a day or so on foot.  By that time though, the stone had already left him.  He had long since forgotten about it – let alone where it was going.  When he arrived at the station, he could barely remember what he was doing there.  He knew he had to do something with that blank piece of paper he was holding in his hand.

That’s right!  The clerk!  If he puts it on the bathroom door, that would change everything!

The clerk wasn’t believing him though.  Damnit.  He forgot.  Robert Ford wasn’t where he was supposed to be yet.  And Jake was running out of time for the girl!

But that’s when he came in!  The strings!  That’s right! The strings on the Harp!

Damnit, he thinks I’m crazy too.  None of you ever listen to me!  Ever!  I’m only trying to help you, but you all just think I’m nuts.  Every fucking time!

Whatever.  There wasn’t enough time right now.  He had to get to the intersection, quickly!  But wait…what if he left a note?  Of course!  That’s how the harp gets the notes!  He laughed wildly as he scrawled the message on the paper as quickly as he could.  It wasn’t easy.  His hands were shaking the entire time.

He shoved it into his coat pocket, and finally made it to the intersection.  Out of breath, he smiled, and walked out into the road.  He closed his eyes.

Finally…he thought to himself.  And then the car hit him.

 

****

 

Seven cars down the line, a mother inside a minivan was upset.  She was late bringing her daughter to her soccer game.  Police had the traffic at a dead stop, and she should have already been on the highway by now.  It’s good that she wasn’t, because there was no way the weight distribution of the van would have been able to keep the vehicle stable during the swerve when a merging semi-truck would have forced them off the road, killing them both.  Everything Dan Romano did two months ago would have been for nothing, if Soccer Girl didn’t make it to 2019.

A different cop was on the scene than the one that responded to the incident at the gas station two days ago.  That was good.  The one who responded to the assault on the customer would not have given Harper Clarkson the note left by Jake.  Fortunately, the incident had disgusted him enough to call in sick that day.

 

******

Joshua Clarkson had been very absent minded lately.  He wasn’t sure why.  He was sneezing a lot, and began to wonder if maybe he was catching a cold.  He remembered taking his dad’s car out somewhere.  At some point, he opened the trunk and put something into it.  Later that day he wondered if he remembered to fill up the gas.  The last thing he needed was another lecture from his father about responsibility and consequence.

*****

Harp slowly stood up from the ground.  The back of his pants were completely soaked, and his entire backside was numb with cold.  He looked in wonder at the stone in the trunk, and began to understand.  He wasn’t sure he liked where things were going, but he knew it was ultimately for the best.  In the meantime though, there was something simple he could do.  And it was something he was actually looking forward to.

Taking the stone and placing it in his pocket, he finished filling up his tank, and then got behind the wheel.  He started the ignition, turned the car around, and headed back to the gas station.

 

“Hello again, Roger.”

“Back already?  What happened?”

“Sad news I’m afraid.  You remember that guy who was in here earlier?”

“The homeless guy?  What about him?”

“Turns out he was just hit by a car a short time ago.  He didn’t make it.”

Roger Ford gasped.  “Jesus.  Are you serious?”

“Yeah.  Cops made me ID him.  I’m surprised they haven’t been by here, actually.”

“Well…” Roger sighed.  “The truth is, they probably won’t follow it any further than that.  He was homeless so…yeah.  They probably figure he’s just some nobody.  Nobody important, you know?”

“That’s…not a fair thing to say about anyone.”

“Yeah, I know.  I don’t like that either.”

Harp paused for a minute, then began.  “Hey listen.  I have an idea.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, you remember how he was going on about putting a piece of paper on your bathroom door or something?  Well I was thinking maybe you could put one up there.  As like a sort of memorial, you know?”

“Heh.  Sounds silly, but that’s not a bad idea.  If anything maybe it would give the poor bugger some peace.”

“And who knows?  Maybe it would make you rich someday,” Harp grinned.

Roger chuckled.  “Wouldn’t that just beat all?  If it does, I’ll definitely split it with you.”

 

*****

In 2043, Jonathan Clarkson, son of Joshua and Elizabeth, will use a portion of his family’s vast wealth to start up a business.  He had heard from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend that there was money to be made in protein bars.



Copyright 2014
Michael F. Mercurio

Good Punishment

By Michael F. Mercurio



“So?  Are you just going to sit there, or are you going to actually drink it?”

Tom looked down at his larger, sighed, and lifted the glass to his lips.

“Atta boy,” his friend of fifteen years told him.  Jack was his only friend, in fact.

“You’ve been spending way too much time at home, you know.  Hell, I hardly see you anymore.  And it’s not like you’re working or anything.”

“Yeah…I know,” Tom replied meekly.

“So are you gonna tell me why you haven’t returned any of my calls?  Or do we need to get you liquored up some more first?”

“It’s…like I said in the car.  I’ve just been kinda…I don’t know.  Not myself lately.  Sorry.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been worried about you ya know.  The least you could have done was drop me a line or something.”

“What are you, my fucking wife?”

“Man, if you had a wife who looked half as good as me, then I could forgive you for never leaving the house.”

“Funny,” Tom said, taking another sip.  Jack chucked the rest of his beer, then grabbed the pitcher to pour himself another mug.

“Seriously though, are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.  I just haven’t been feeling well.”
“Yeah, right.  Come on Tom, I’ve known you almost your whole damn adult life.  Stop insulting my intelligence and spill your guts already.”

Jack was always pushy like that.  He meant well, but sometimes he could really get under your skin.  Tom often wondered if it was that very tenacity that was the only thing that kept him around.  Anyone else would have gotten sick of Tom a long time ago – and in fact had.  But whenever Tom got into his depressing, reclusive moods, Jack was the only one who just rode with it.

“Look, I honestly...don’t know.  I’ve just been having one of those weeks, you know?  I guess I don’t really have a reason for it.”

“Yeah, well, if there’s no reason for it, then you should probably just quit your whining and drink your drink with me when I get my days off.  Right?”

“Hey, I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Sure, after I twisted your arm.”

The two men sat in silence for awhile, with Jack taking more enthusiastic swigs from his mug.  Finally, he piped in again.

“So.  You wanna talk about it?”

Tom shrugged.  “Like I said, I don’t really know what to talk about.  I don’t know why I get like this.  It just…you know, happens.”

“Ever think about going to a doctor for it?”

“What good would that do me?  He’ll ask me to talk, then I’ll say the same damn things I say to him that I say to you.  He’ll say ‘So!  Why do you think you feel this way?’  Then I’ll say ‘Gee doc, I really don’t know.  It just happens.’  Then he’ll ask me about my mother and father, and when we still can’t figure out what’s wrong with me, he’ll give me some pills that turn me into a zombie.  So yeah.  No thanks.”

“I see,” Jack said while stroking his goatee.  “Very interesting.  And how does that make you feel?”

“Oh, shut up,” Tom sighed.

“Heh.  I could totally be a shrink, you know.”

“Yeah, right.  I can just see you offering ‘advice’ to underage teen girls telling them how they should dump their thirty-year-old boyfriends while you stick your business card down their bra.”

“Hey hey!  Why all the hostility?  Besides, it’s not my fault they were damaged.  It’s kinda like when you go food shopping and you get the dented cans, you know?  Discounts man, discounts!”

“You’re a sick man, Jack.”

“To each his own, my friend,” he replied, lifting his glass in toast, then downing the rest.

“What’s even sicker is sometimes I wish I could be more like you.”

“Hey man, that’s just normal.  Everyone wants to be me.”

“At least if I had your delusions, I’d be happier.”

“Huh.  Well if it’s delusions you want Tommy boy, I can totally help you with that.”

“What do you mean?”

And with that, Jack was gone.

 

In his place, sitting in the chair directly across the small table from Tom, was a creature the likes of which he had never seen.  Its skin was crimson red, and had festering boils.  It was bald, with small lumps and pronounced ridges on each side of its skull.  And it had wings that were folded in, presumably because it was sitting in a chair.

Tom blinked several times.  He shut his eyes tight, rubbed them, kept them closed, and took a long swift drink of his larger.  When he finally opened them, the creature was still there.  He looked around the bar at the other patrons, but no one else seemed to notice the thing sitting in Jack’s chair.  In fact, the waitress even came by to refill their chip bowl, said nothing, and walked away.

“What-…what the…HUH?!”

In a rasping voice that sounded somewhat like Jack’s, the creature spoke after a small fit of laughter.

“Woa woa now, calm down there Tommy boy.  Heh heh just calm right the fuck down.  Ain’t gonna do you no good to get bent out of shame just now.  Besides, it’s not like you’re gonna remember any of this anyway.”

“What the fuck is going on?!” Tom demanded.  A few customers turned to look at him, but then returned to their patronage.

“Relax Tom, just relax.  It’s still me.  It’s always been me.”

Tom looked at the creature in disbelieve.  “….J-…Jack?!”

“In the flesh!  Well…so to speak.”

“What the…how…”

“Look, just shut up for a bit, will you?  God, your whining is so annoying sometimes.  You wanted to know why you always feel like crap all the time, didn’t you?”

“I…”

“Yeah, well, I figured what the hell.  I may as well tell you again.  It’s been awhile since I had any real fun with you anyway.”

“I don’t understand…”

“Of course you don’t, Tom.  You’re not supposed to.  That’s part of how it goes.  But we’ll get to that.”

“This…this can’t be happening.”  He bolted up and rubbed his eyes fiercely.

“Will you sit the fuck down?  You’re making a scene here, and I don’t want to get yelled at by the others for having a little fun.”

Dumfounded, and completely drained mentally, Tom slumped back into his seat.

“Okay then.  Where were we?  You wanted to know why you always feel like crap, right?  Why even the most mundane things in your life never seem to go your way?”

“Um…uh…yeah…?”

“Well Tom, let me start by asking you a question.  You’ve always tried to do the ‘right thing’, right?  Hell, you’re a regular boyscout.  Ain’t that right?”

“Um…I…guess?”

“Sure you are, sure.  You help old ladies cross the street, you don’t cheat on your taxes, hell, you even go to church once in awhile,” the creature sneered.

“Well…yeah…I guess I do...”

“Okay then Tommy boy….all kidding aside, let me ask you a really serious question.”  The Jack-creature looked him squarely in the eye.  Tom shuddered when he saw its eyes were a solid black.  “What do you know about Hell?”

Tom gasped.  “Are you a demon?!”

“Give the man another drink for figuring out the obvious.  Of course I’m a demon, you ninny.  I thought the wings were a freaking giveaway.  But answer the question already.”

Tom studdered.  “Um…uh…well…I was always taught that Hell is where you go to be punished for doing bad things.  Uh…that’s what everyone’s taught, really.  But…wait…why are you…you know…’here’?  And not…’there’”?

The Jack-creature ignored his question.  “Okay Tommy boy…let me ask you another million-dollar question.  Let’s say someone did something wrong.  Something really bad.  What would the best way be to punish them?”

“Um…send them to Hell?”

The Jack-creature sighed.  “Of course send them to Hell, you idiot.  What I’m asking is, how would they be punished in Hell?”

“Uh…well…everyone usually says it’s all about fire and torture and stuff.”

Jack-creature grinned at that.  “That’s where you’re dead-wrong, Tommy boy.  And now…we get to the fun part.”

The creature held out his hand, and in his palm, appeared what looked like a small action figure.  It stood in silent demand of further explanation.

“I’m gonna show you this little guy as an example.  We’ll call this one Little Ricky.  Now then.  Ricky here is an axe murderer.  He raped and killed…oh, I don’t know.  Let’s say one hundred children and fifty small puppies.”  At that, the face on the action figure turned into an evil grin.  Blood dripped from the palm of Jack-creature’s hand and trickled onto the table.

“Now.  The best way to punish someone like this isn’t with eternal hellfire and all that nonsense.  No, see, guys like this thrive on pain.  That’s just no good.  Not much of a punishment if they’re twisted enough to get off on it.  So!  What we do is…this!”

Suddenly, Little Ricky transformed into a small doll of a nun.

“Um…are you saying that nuns are actually axe murderers?  Er…rehabilitated, I mean,” he quickly corrected.

“No you idiot.  You’re not getting it.  See, everyone has their own separate hell.  You follow me so far?”

“O…kay?”

“Like I said, the best way to punish someone isn’t with fire.  What you do is, you wipe their memory completely.  Think about it!  They would never even know that they’re in Hell!  Then…oh!  Here’s the best part!”  Jack-creature began to laugh uncontrollably.  “Oho, it’s so rich.  Then!  You make them think…are you ready?  You make them think they’re……a good person!”  He began screeching with laughter, pounding his hand on the table.  The nun-doll shattered in his palm as he struck, emitting a blood-curdling shriek of agony.

Tom was a bit slow on the uptake.  He was too distracted by the screaming nun-doll.

“Come on Tommy, keep up with me here!  Don’t you see?  Part of the punishment of being in Hell is not even knowing that you’re already there!  What better way to punish someone than to turn them into someone who is constantly punishing themselves, convinced that they actually still have a shot of getting into Heaven?  They try so damn hard to be ‘good’, when it’s already too late!  It’s pure genius!  Only the Master Himself could have designed it!”

The demon continued.  “As the fool tries his whole ‘life’ to be all good and proper, we keep sending more shit his way.  The better a person he tries to be, the more we knock him around.  And because they’re constantly programmed - by us - to do ‘good’, they keep coming back for more.  Finally, they snap, go crazy, maybe kill themselves.  Then we start the whole thing all over again!  Now THAT is eternal damnation, my friend!”

Tom’s mouth was open as the reality slowly dawned on him.

“You wanted to know why things are always turning to shit on you, Tommy boy?  Well, that’s an easy one!  We turned you into ‘Tom.’  Before you came to us…your name was ‘Rick.’  Is your memory starting to come back to you yet Little Ricky?  No?  Of course not.  It wouldn’t be much of a punishment if it did, now would it?”  The demon cackled.

Tom bolted out of his chair, screaming.  “Shut up!  Shut the fuck up!  You lying piece of shit!  I’m a good person!  I’m good!  I’m good!”  He strangled the demon, and the other patrons looked over in alarm.  Even as some of the more burley customers ran to him trying to pry his hands loose, Tom refused to let go.  Finally, he heard a loud snap, as the demon gurgled its last breath.  They pulled him off, but the creature was dead.

Tom looked around at the customers who held him tightly, looking at him with disgust and disbelieve.  “I’m a good person,” he ranted.  “I’m a good person.”

Then, he looked across the table, and saw the lifeless body of Jack – his only friend.

“I’m a good person…” he sobbed.

 

Copyright 2013
Michael F. Mercurio 

Bye Daddy

By Michael F. Mercurio



He was completely frozen – full on, total lockdown mode.  And the more he thought about getting up and going out, the worse his panic became.  It was impossible for him to even accomplish anything around the house when he was like this.

His wife, per usual, berated him for it.

“Will you at least take care of the dishes?  They’ve been sitting in the sink since yesterday.”

“I will.  Later,” Stan replied.

“You said that yesterday,” she stated with exasperation.  “I have to get to work, and then pick up Liddy from school.  I expect them to be washed by the time I get home.”

“Yeah.  Fine.”  The forty-one year old tried desperately to continue staring at the television, refusing to look at her.

He hated himself.

“I don’t know why I put up with you,” she mumbled, and headed out the door with her keys in hand.  Stan cringed when she slammed the door.  Then, he continued to stare numbly at the television, not really watching it.

Rarely did he ever really watch it.  It was simply an action to convince his mind that it was preoccupied, so it wouldn’t wander to other things.  Things like what he was, what he should be doing, and what he wasn’t doing.  When he thought about things like that, the tighter he locked up.

Yesterday, while his wife was at work, his mother had come over.  At her behest, he had made it as far as the door.  He even opened it on his own.  That was as far as he had gotten, however.

Per usual, she pushed her way past him, and nagged him about how he needed to get out of the house more.

“I hardly ever even get to see you, you know.  And it’s getting harder for me to come around these days.  But look at me!  Even at my age, I still manage to get out of the house!”

“Yeah Mom, I know.”

“You can’t stay locked up in here forever you know.  Even at my age, I go out every day.  The key is to stay active!”

“Yes Mom.  I know.”

“When was the last time you washed up a little?  You look like a mess.”

“I just…haven’t been feeling well.”

She rushed over to him and put her hand on his forehead.  “You don’t feel like you have a fever or anything.  Is it about Janet?  Are you depressed?”

“No Mom, it has nothing to do with Janet.”

“Well then, what is it?”

“It’s nothing Mom.  I just don’t feel well.”

“Well lie back down then.  I’ll make you something to eat.”

“Mom, don’t do that.  Janet will be home soon with Liddy.”

“So?  They can eat too.  Or how about you cook for them?  It’s not like you’re working.”

Stan winced at that.  She was getting under his skin, no matter how tightly he tried to close everything off.

“Mom!  Look, I said don’t worry about it, okay?  I can cook my own goddamn dinner in my own goddamn house.  You don’t have to come by every day to take care of me, or my marriage!”

He regretted saying it even as he started it, but it was like a floodgate that he just couldn’t hold back.  As a result, it came out much louder than he intended.  The look of hurt on her face was immediate.

Saying nothing, she turned and walked out the front door, slamming it behind her.  He winced at that, too – just like today.  It seemed wincing was becoming a permanent facial expression lately.

Later that day, spurred on by white anger at himself, he gave it an honest attempt.  Like always, he made it as far as the door.  He had it open, and managed to move one foot outside his sanctuary.  Almost immediately, the openness of the world outside flooded him, and he began to shake all over.  He felt as though he were on the edge of a cliff, with one foot hovering mid-step to his death.

He quickly closed the door, hyperventilating.  He made his way to the couch, sat down, stared at nothing for a few minutes, and finally broke down, sobbing at the empty house.

Today wasn’t like yesterday, fortunately.  Sure, in the back of his mind, both his wife and his mother hated him.  They screamed inside his brain, insulting him – calling him names like “loser” and “bum.”  But, he was able to numb it today.  He found that it was getting slightly easier to disassociate himself from reality, so that he wouldn’t have to think, and he wouldn’t hear the disparaging voices.  Any sudden movement on his part however, and something would break through – contracting his insides even further. 

Alone, sitting on his couch, he felt like a prisoner in his own home, with invisible guardsmen watching him from the shadows.

He jumped up, closed all the curtains, and made sure all the lights were on.  The openness of the place wouldn’t bother him if he could see every contour of the walls.  Then, he returned to the couch, and closed his eyes while he waited for his wife to return home with their twelve-year-old daughter.

Then he quickly popped them open, because the nothingness behind his own eye-lids scared the crap out of him.  He wasn’t getting much sleep these days.

Hours passed.  Where was she, anyway?  School would have been let out for awhile now, and she’s never late picking up Liddy.  No one had called.  Maybe she finally got fed up with him and took Liddy away to a hotel.  He would get a Dear John letter in the mail tomorrow and it would say something like “You’ll never even get this letter you idiot, because you never leave the fucking house to check the mail!  I’m leaving you!”  Thoughts like this ran in circles in his mind as he rocked back and forth slightly on the couch.  At the same time – as most thoughts often occurred to him, and he had trouble figuring out which one to look at when there were more than five of them together – he wondered if such an event would really bother him.  As he disconnected himself further from everything, he wasn’t sure if he would even feel anything if she did try to leave.  Or if his own mother walked off a cliff.  And he hated himself for that.  And then the thought of a “cliff” got mixed in there somehow, scared him, and the whole cycle repeated itself as he began to rock faster on the couch.

And then the door finally opened.  Janet poked her head into the living room.  “Honey?”

He looked up in surprise, awkwardly trying to compose himself, mainly for the sake of expecting his daughter – the one person he had left who his brain hadn’t yet written off as a lost cause.

He cleared his throat and stuttered nervously.  “H-hey.  Welcome home.  Late getting out?”

“Well, not exactly.  Listen, can we talk for a second?  I have Liddy waiting out in the car.”

This was it.  He just knew this was the part where she would say “I’m taking her and leaving you because you’re a fucking forty-one-year-old loser who can’t even leave the house without freaking out.”

“Um….yeah.  Okay.  What’s up?”

She closed the door behind her, and came over to him, sitting down on the couch next to her husband.  She gently patted his knee and began.

“I…I don’t want you to be mad.  But, I think you need this.  It’s been going on a long time, and we’re all worried about you.  I…I got you some help.”

Some help?  He blinked, confused.  He was still fixated on the “I don’t want you to be mad” part, and just assumed that she was telling him that she was leaving.  Then, as the disassociation settled in, he processed the rest of what she had said.

“What do you-…?”

“I…spoke to a therapist today.  It was kind of a last minute thing.  I was on my way to work, but at the last minute I decided to call out.  I was surprised, because I was able to get ahold of someone right away.”

“Wait, a therapist?  What, for me?  Janet, you know I hate that kind of-“

“I know, I know.  But, honey…you’ve been getting worse.  A lot worse.  He’s waiting in the car right now with Liddy and your mother.”

“My mother?!  Did she put you up to this?!”

“No Stan, she didn’t.  In fact she said, and I quote, ‘My son doesn’t need his head shrinked by some quack.  He needs to grow up and get off his ass.’”

That sounded like his mom alright.

“Janet, I-“

“Stan,” she interrupted him.  “We’re worried about you.  All of us.  Your agoraphobia is costing you everything.  Don’t you want to live your life?  To see your daughter grow up?  She had a soccer game a week ago, and you couldn’t stand the thought of sitting on the bleachers under an open sky.”

It was true.  The very prospect scared the crap out of him.  In his completely illogical mind, there was nothing to stop him from being sucked up into the sky, never to be seen again.  Especially from the top bleacher.

He put his head in his hands, and quietly cried – utterly humiliated, doing it in front of his wife.

She held him and rocked him.  “Shhh…shhh….it’s okay.”

After a few minutes had passed and he calmed down, she said “Stay right here,” and walked out the door.

Shortly after, there was a knock at the door, and a large, balding man poked his head through it.  “Stan Larson?”

Embarrassed, Stan responded, looking up.  “Um…yeah.  Come on in, I guess.”

The man entered, closing the door behind him.  Shaking Stan’s hand from behind the couch, he introduced himself.  “My name is Brian Callen.  I’m a licensed doctor.  ‘Head Shrinker’, if you prefer.  That’s what your mother called me, anyway.  Charming woman,” he said as he smiled.

“Um…yeah.  Sorry about that.  She can be a little…”

“Ah, no need.  We actually had a very nice chat.  She’s refreshingly down to earth.  Loves you to pieces too, you know.  Mind if I sit down?”

Stan gestured, and he sat on the opposite side of the couch next to him.

Crossing his legs, he continued.  “They all do, actually.  You’ve got an incredible support system.”

“Are they…?”

“They’re all in your wife’s car.  I told them I wanted to talk to you first before they come and see you.”

“Listen…um…Doctor.  I have to tell you, all of this is more than a little embarrassing for me.”

“Oh pashaw.  Would you be embarrassed if you had a cold and had to take some cough medicine for it?”

“Well no, but this is a bit different.  And it’s not just you being here that embarrasses me.  It’s everything.”

“You mean like being forty-one years old and not being able to work because you can’t leave the house?”

Irritated, Stan replied “Yeah.  Something like that.”

“Look, Stan- can I call you Stan?”  He continued before he could respond.  “Stan, it may surprise you to know that your condition is pretty common.  Forget the age thing, forget the job thing, forget the pride thing.  It happens to some people, and sometimes there’s just nothing you can do about it.  So stop blaming yourself for everything.  It isn’t your fault that you’re agoraphobic.  Just like it wouldn’t be your fault if you caught the flue.”

Stan blinked at him, confused.  “Aren’t you a shrink?  Aren’t you supposed to say things like ‘Well that’s interesting.  How does that make you feel?’ and not really say anything at all?”

“Hmm.  Interesting.  And how does that make you feel, Stan?” he joked.

Stan chuckled, despite himself.  Even as a complete, introverted basket-case, the infectious eccentricity of the unorthodox man somehow managed to get a smile out of him.

“Okay.  So I’m agoraphobic.  Now what?”

“Now, we call the rest of your family in here, they each tell you how much they love you, and then together we push your ass out of the house.”

“Wait, what?!  Um…!  That’s all a little fast, isn’t it?  I mean…I thought therapy sessions were supposed to take months!

“Well Stan, normally it would.  But your wife’s insurance policy isn’t covering this, and she doesn’t have a lot to work with.  SO…we’re going to get you back to ‘normal’ as quickly as we can.”

Was this guy serious?  It sounded insane.  No real therapist would try to rush something along like this.  My god, Stan thought.  He really is a quack!  And both his wife and his mother were on board with this!

“Okay Stan, just wait right there.  I’ll go tell your kin that they can come inside.  That is unless, you want to go on out there and tell them yourself,” he joked in poor taste.

Stan was beginning to like this man a lot less.

As “Doctor” Callen shut the door behind him, Stan panicked.  He couldn’t believe what was happening.  Somewhere in his mind, he knew that none of this was really a big deal.  All he had to do was step outside.  It’s not like it would kill him.  What was he panicking about?  But they were practically shoving him out there.  And his mind was screaming at him not to let them.  Outside:  Bad.  Inside:  Good.  Maybe they were all against him.  Maybe they were all secretly plotting his demise.  Even his daughter Liddy, who gave him hugs every day and told him she loved him.  Maybe all of them were out to get him.

He forced himself to make the room stop spinning, and got a grip – reminding himself that he wasn’t always like this.  There was a time in his life when he used to always go outside.  The trees and sky were welcoming, and other people he walked past were not all turning their heads toward him, grinning mischievously like they wanted him to die.

My god, he thought yet again.  I really do need help.  And so, he figured the best thing he should do is just shut up and trust his family.  After all, by right, his wife should have gotten fed up and left him by now.  Instead, he broke down in front of her like a simpering pussy, and she comforted him.  Obviously, she loved him and wasn’t trying to kill him.  She didn’t think of him as a pathetic freak like he did.  Maybe if his agoraphobia wasn’t making him such an insomniac, he wouldn’t be as paranoid and self-loathing as he was now.  As he analyzed it further, he couldn’t help but be amused by the “chain” of things wrong with his brain, one thing causing another, causing another.  What was that song about the woman who swallowed a fly?  “And then she diiiied...” he nearly sang out loud.  He stopped himself because the ending scared him, and suddenly the relevancy was lost in the myriad of thought.

His train was interrupted by his wife finally walking in, followed by sweet Liddy, followed by their mother, and finally followed by the unorthodox doctor.  For some reason, his mind decided to focus on the doctor bringing his portly frame through the door, rather than the sudden, unexpected family gathering.  He had to keep himself from laughing out loud at the large man.  That would have been embarrassingly rude.

He looked sheepishly at his loved ones, and then Liddy came up to him and hugged him.

“Hi Daddy.”

“Hi Kiddo.  How was school?”

“It was okay.  How are you feeling?”

“I’m much better now, sweetheart.  But um…there sure are a lot of people here now.”

She giggled.  “Yeah.  Mom wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, she sure did.”

“Well then,” started the doctor.  “Now that that’s out of the way, shall we get to work?”

Janet looked at her husband, and then at Doctor Callen.  “Um…Doctor?  Isn’t it a little soon for that?  He’ll s-…I mean, he’s a bit fragile.”

“I agree with Brian, Janet,” his mother stated flatly.  “I think it’s high time we straighten him out right this second.  It will do him a world of good.”

“But...!” Stan protested.

“Now now, Stan,” said the doctor.  “Your family here loves you, and they only want what’s best for you.  And remember, I am a licensed doctor.  So trust me when I tell you that no medical harm will come to you by stepping outside your house.  What you have is completely in your mind.  It’s not your fault by any means, but you do have the ability to overcome it.  Think of your daughter.”

Liddy, standing in front of Stan on the couch, looked at him.  “Please Daddy?  I want to be able to go out and do things with you…just like we used to!”

That broke the camel, or whatever it was that Stan’s brain was riding.  “O-okay honey.  I’ll…I’ll try.”

His wife smiled at him, helped him to his feet, and hugged him.  “I know you can do it, honey.  I believe in you.  All of us do.”

His mother chimed in, “We’re proud of you, Kid.  We’re proud of you, and we love you.”  The forty-one year old winced at that, but forced a smile.

Taking a deep breath, he conceded.  “Okay Doctor.  Just…do me a favor and…I don’t know.  Hang onto me or something?”

“I can only open the door for you, Neo.  It is you who must step through it,” replied the obese doctor, lamely trying to quote The Matrix.

“Doctor…where did you say you got your medical degree again?”

“Night school.  Don’t worry about it.  Out.”

Stan sighed.  The “doctor’s” bad humor notwithstanding, did put him at ease somewhat.

He took another breath.  He opened the door himself, despite Callen’s movie quote.

The sun was setting, and it would be dark soon.  The open air from the door hit Stan in the face, and made him shiver.  It wasn’t cold, but he shivered nonetheless.  He closed his eyes.  Bad idea.  He opened them.  Not much better idea.  Okay, don’t look up.  Whatever you do, don’t look at the open sky.  He looked down at his feet.  He took a tentative step forward.  And then another.  He held onto the guard rail of the short steps leading down to the pavement.  His shaking hand made the metal rail rattle.

“You’re doing it, honey!” his wife exclaimed.

“Go Daddy!” his daughter joked.

He reached the bottom step, gritted his teeth, and forcibly wrenched his own hand away from the railing.  Finally, he took another step toward the open street, a full foot away from the four concrete stairs.

He breathed.  Then forced himself to look forward, then turned his head back toward his family.  He was visibly shaking, but he did it.  He was outside.  “O-okay,” he stuttered.  “I’m out…side now.  Um…Can I come back in?”

“You’re doing great, Stan,” the doctor boomed.

“Good job, Kid!” exclaimed his mother.

Sighing, Stan took another step forward, and then faltered.  He began to shake uncontrollably.  “Okay, um…that’s enough I think.  I’d like to go back inside for a bit.”

He looked behind him and his family was standing outside with him, smiling.

“Just a little further, Daddy.  You can do it!”

Emboldened by his daughter, he took two more tentative steps forward, then three, then four.  Finally he was across the street.  “I did it!” he shouted.  He looked back and saw his family on the other side.  They were all smiling at him with joyous approval.

At least…he thought it was joyous approval.  It was a little hard to tell from across the street.  He thought he saw…no, that can’t be right.  It was probably the setting sun shining in his face.

He began to walk back toward them, and then stopped.  What the-….huh?!

His left foot wouldn’t touch the ground for some reason.  His wife grinned, and the fat doctor put his meaty arm around her.  His right foot failed to touch ground as well.

“H-hey!  HEY!!” Stan shouted in confusion and fear.  He began to rise off the ground.  He watched in horror as the doctor kissed his wife’s cheek and she grinned maliciously.  His mother grinned.  Even Liddy, his little girl, had a sickeningly evil smile pasted on her face.  They were laughing at him.  He began to rise further.

“Bye Daddy!” Liddy called out to her father, and waved to him as he was sucked into the sky.

He screamed.

And then he was gone.

Copyright 2013
Michael F. Mercurio